Lazy lady bug
“Relax. You’ll become an adult.You’ll figure out your career. You’ll find someone who loves you.You have a whole lifetime, time takes time.”
I hate that my mind decides to do all this late night overthinking when all i really want to do is just get a good night sleep.
One of the best feelings in life is the cold midnight breeze against your skin.
Of all people, I was the one whom you should’ve expected the most from. Given the fact that we’ve been through a lot of crazy stuffs together, I am most expected to be mourning about how you’re gonna leave the country for good. But no. What happened was the complete opposite and believe me when I say that I am not grateful about it. I mean, this blog post wouldn’t have existed in the first place if thoughts about you didn’t bother me. So let me tell you that I am awfully sad and awfully jealous. Jealous that you’re slowly realizing my dream. God knows how much I want to be in your place right now. And what hurts is that I do not even have the certainty of ever achieving mine, and yet there you are, living the life of my dream. I can’t blame you though and neither can I blame anyone. God has different wills for us and that is your’s and this is mine. The idea of believing that better things are coming at the right point in time is the only reason what keeps me going. The idea of best things come to those who wait is what keeps me grounded on my feet. So I wish you well. I wish you every best thing God and the world has to offer to you. You have been a very important person in my life. My jealousy doesn’t change the fact that I do not want good things to come into your life. It’s a bitter-sweet feeling. Bottom line is, I’ll miss you. A lot. And for the record, I’m sorry if I failed to extend my love to you after the days of not seeing you personally. I’m sorry if I let you fell abandoned. I’m sorry if I made you think that you lost importance to me and that I no longer thought of you. Things at school have just been crazy and I thank you for understanding all of my shortcomings. And as write this blog post down, I assure you that I have realized a lot and I’ll start to change things for the better. Much much love from your friends and I. Take care of yourself for me in Chicago! Okay? Okay.
Jealous af. I want to leave this crazy town too! God knows how I wish I had the certainty of looking forward to it.